Today, I am focusing on verse 51 of the Tao Te Ching, particularly these portions:
The Way connects all living beings to their Source.
It springs into existence,
unconscious, perfect, free;
takes on a physical body;
lets circumstances complete it.
Therefore all beings honor the Way
and value its virtue...
The Tao gives them life.
Virtue nourishes and nurtures them,
rears and shelters and protects them.
The Tao produces but does not possess;
the Tao gives without expecting;
the Tao fosters growth without ruling.
This is called hidden virtue.
Can a person parent (rear, shelter, foster growth) without a heavy hand? Can a person be a friend without being overbearing? Can a child live peaceably with his own parents? Can a leader rule without compromising his beliefs?
What is virtue? What is integrity? What laws govern the individual person? What regulations reside in the mind beyond those of the government? How do we govern ourselves?
These are important questions to consider. In order for me to be the best ME that I can be, I must reflect on how I want to be treated. A very important question to consider is: Do I want to be respected? In other words, "How do I want to be treated?"
I learned in my earlier years to read the body language of a person. I learned how to listen to the voice inflections of people. If I hear someone raise their voice and lean forward, I take notice. That causes me to walk away. I don't engage with such belligerent individuals.
My mother was taught the Golden Rule:
Do unto others as you would have done unto you.
Several people have told me, after hearing of such events, that I have every right to be rude to such individuals. That's not how I was raised. I never saw my mother answer every rude treatment with rudeness. No. That's not how I want to be treated. Therefore, I expect to be treated kindly.
Walking away has long been my coping mechanism, or part of my self-preservation, as a beloved family member has called it. I have hoped that it would be enough to counter such ill-treatment. It hasn't worked. That's why I am changing my strategy. I now know that I have to use the inner protector in me to call out the bad treatment; only then, can I experience harmony in my home.
I remember that Oprah often mentioned the need for people to feel validated. When victims of a crime step forward, they want vindication. They want their voices to be heard. When a group rises to announce the injustice of something, like with the Civil Rights Movement, the hope is that society would take notice that everyone deserves to be treated with dignity. Isn't that what we all want?
And what of virtue or integrity? What is my internal judge, as The Newsboys (a Christian group) has sung, saying to me when I deal daily with my fellow man? How am I treating others? What is the judge inside of me saying about how I should conduct myself toward others?
The way I treat others is how others will treat me.
I know these are a lot of questions, but they must be asked. It is important to know what kind of treatment we want from others. After all, what we give out, is what we get back. It's like the saying, "What comes around, goes around."
Some like to put it this way: What I give out to the universe will come back to me.
This is not to say that if I treat person A in a negative way, I will get the same treatment from person A. No. It means that person B may treat me in that same negative way. The next time I deal with ANYONE, this blog entry should be a reminder that the way I treat one person, will influence the way I am treated by someone else within this universe.
In case someone believes this isn't true, I challenge you all to do something. Pay it forward. If you receive an unexpected blessing from someone, pass it on. If someone gives you something you can use, give a friend or a family member something they can use. Don't just give something that the receiver won't use; give something from the heart.
In the future, I will keep to my integrity, which I learned from my own mother. I hope I honor her memory with it. I live with the idea that if my mother would handle others with dignity, I should do the same. I want her to be proud of my actions and thoughts. Hopefully, I will be a good example to my own children.
Thanks for reading this entry about my living out loud according to my integrity.
I appreciate you taking the time to read it.
My dear readers, I'd like for y'all to answer the above questions and these: Are you treating your family and friends with dignity? Or are you merely using them? Do you want to be used? Or would you like to be considered a blessing to those around you? I would rather be considered a blessing than a burden to those around me. I pray that I am indeed blessing you all, my dear readers.
I pray that we all would seek wisdom from the Source of everything--Our Heavenly Father, God. I pray that we would ask God for His help to experience a deep, loving relationship with Him.
May God bless you, my beloveds, with His wisdom and peace, in Jesus' name. Amen!
I am currently drawing inspiration from Dr. Wayne W. Dyer's book and the 81 verses of the Chinese wisdom book the Tao Te Ching.
