Dr. Dyer's book is Change your Thoughts--Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao.
Today, I am focusing on verse 52 of the Tao Te Ching, particularly these portions:
...Keep your mouth shut,
guard the senses,
and life is ever full.
Open your mouth,
always be busy,
and life is beyond hope.
Seeing the small is called clarity;
keeping flexible is called strength.
Using the shining radiance,
you return again to the light
and save yourself misfortune.
This is called
the practice of eternal light.
I've been known to hold my anger in. I've also been know to blow up. Sometimes, I can control my anger; lately, it's been getting harder. One important fact, though, is that I don't want to take it out on my kids and husband.
This verse of the Tao Te Ching suggests keeping the mouth shut. When adversities come, and they undoubtedly do, we should minimalize how much we say. I already heard this twice since I read this verse. It was two older men who advised this.
What happens when we open our mouths? Have you ever heard of the phrase: Lose lips sink ships? Yeah, our words can get us into trouble. In the Bible, it has been mentioned that there are times for peace and times for war. There are times that call for silence. Then there are times in which we must speak up about injustices.
Can we truly keep our mouths shut?
The difficulty comes when we are confronted with difficult people and situations. It is best to be assertive. I'm not calling for aggressiveness. I'm not saying we should be passive and allow people to step all over us. I'm not even saying we should be passive aggressive and whisper under our breaths when someone angers us.
I'm saying that there is permission to address a difficult situation with calm. There is no sense getting into a huff and a puff, like the Big Bad Wolf. It's okay to call a truce and say, "Let's agree to disagree," if there is no common road. If an intelligent conversation cannot be had, then it's best to table it. There are those times, though, in which we encounter someone who won't ever see our point of view; in that case, it is best to move on to another topic of conversation.
We need to be tolerant of each other's differences.
Then again, what do we do about people who cross their arms and are adamant in their viewpoint? Well, I say that there is close-mindedness involved. That person will not listen to what we have to say because they are not receptive, as their body language suggests. They are not willing to see our point of view. These people merely want to "put us in our place" even though they might or might not be wrong. I would not engage in conversation with those type of people because they don't want to learn with and from us. In fact, I've simply walked away from people like that.
I firmly believe that for me being a Latina, who has a university diploma, it is difficult to hold conversations. I'm not saying that I'm a better conversationalist than anyone else. It has never been my intention, you know, to show somebody up. That isn't my style. No. It is difficult, rather, in that there are individuals who would like to trip me up. If I don't know something, these very persons have said to me, "And you go to college? You should know that!"
I'm trying to be flexible with difficult people and circumstances.
I don't think it's fair for me to be mistreated just because I am learned. What does God really want me to do about that? Am I supposed to turn the other cheek? What lesson am I teaching my children, when I allow people to treat me like a doormat? Should I stand up for my right to happiness in my own home?
I'm standing my ground!
These are the questions that run through me, ever the soul-searcher, as I try to keep an open mind. I don't know all the answers, and I don't want to lead anyone astray. I am simply venting and explaining the plight that I suffer through every day. One day, I think I'll just blow up with anger. The next day, I decided to be nice. On yet another day, I decide I will feign indifference. One thing I won't be doing anymore is walking away because I deserve to inhabit all the rooms of my own home with peace in my heart.
In reading the Bible and the Tao Te Ching, I am seeking clarity. I want to know what to do when the dilemmas in life come along. I pray that God, the Father, gives me the answers I need. Ultimately, I want to do as God wants. I want to please Him, and I want to treat those who trespass against me with the same mercy I seek from God.
Thanks for reading this entry about my living open-minded.
I appreciate you taking the time to read it.
My dear readers, I'd like for y'all to answer the above questions and these: Are you treating your family and friends with respect? Are you willing to keep quiet when it's most appropriate? Are you willing to seek the truth of a given situation? Do you want to know the truth for what it really is? Are you willing to consider another person's point of view? I'm not talking about sacrificing your religious views. I would never ask anyone to do that. Rather, I'm asking for people to respect one another without bashing and belittling. An intelligent conversation can be had if all parties are willing to be open-minded about different topics.
I pray that we all would seek wisdom from the Source of everything--Our Heavenly Father, God. I pray that we would ask God for His help to experience a deep, loving relationship with Him.
May God bless you, my beloveds, with His wisdom and peace, in Jesus' name. Amen!
I am currently drawing inspiration from Dr. Wayne W. Dyer's book and the 81 verses of the Chinese wisdom book the Tao Te Ching.